Expressing Your Emotions

Emotion. Energy in Motion. When we do not express our emotions, the energy remains stuck inside of us. You can be angry at the world or God, because God didn’t give you the right parents by your judgement. This judgement will create something different in you. Anger will turn into rebellion. Anger will turn into resistance. “Don’t anyone tell me what to do,” even if it is wise and makes sense. We won’t ask for wisdom; we become rebels, and it is our way or the highway.

In frustration, there is energy. You want to do something, be something, but there is nothing to do and be. This frustration can turn into judgment. It can turn into sadness. It can turn into any one of those things on the list of one hundred and sixty -four emotions that you can find on the internet. It can be any one of those. So, in healing emotions, we do it backwards. Sometimes we do rage work. The anger comes out, and then all the little things like the resistance and transference are released.

Transference is a big one. Anytime someone confronts you with one of your big issues, you transfer and say, “I don’t like that person.” Because that person ‘nailed it’on your big issue that needs healing. You leave, you check out, and transfer responsibility.

How do we get rid of resistance, which turns back into anger or sadness? I know some people who laugh. They laugh when it isn’t funny. They laugh when it is sad, they laugh at weddings; they laugh at movies when a guy gets killed. I know this other lady that the only emotion she can show is to cry. She cries when she is happy, she cries when she is sad. We went out to eat, and her meal was so good she cried. She didn’t feel any fear but also, she didn’t have any happiness left. There was no mad, sad, glad, or scared there were just tears. This happens to us because we don’t use and move our emotions appropriately. The big emotions filter down into all sorts of little things.

How many people have seen a stubborn kid? You try to drag that kid, and that kid will lay flat on his back, crying. You tell him, “Come on. We are going to the store.” “Last time we went to the store you didn’t buy me a lollipop! I am never going again!” You’re dragging the kid, he is down on the ground crying and screaming. He does not want to go to the store because his disappointment was not handled. Mom can say, “Well sweetie, we have these Oreo cookies which aren’t so good for you, and we have these lollipops which also aren’t so good for you, so pick one. You can have the Oreo cookie or the lollipop. You had the cookies, why are you crying about a lollipop?” Whenever your friends, parents, kids get into their judgement and “play victim” show them, redirect them to look at what they have instead of focusing on what they don’t have. You have a beautiful son. You are a wise woman. You have touched millions of people, you have supported so many of us. Why are you in your victim? Tell them the truth.

I have seen anger, rage, disappointment, disapproval, judgment, and frustration healed by telling somebody the truth. What happens when you say, “I love you?” “I love you, and I don’t get to see you enough.” What happens to his skin? It sucks that up. What happens to his emotions? You see his shoulders release. There is a relief, and he gets the attention he needs. Thank you for teaching me compassion. Thank you for teaching me that you come into this world to show us how to be patient. Be glad that you can be in a relationship, however it looks right now. Say thank you for being in my life. You never know what the other person is going through. You never know, and words of kindness release the frustration and release the anger, period. Words of kindness are all it takes.

When I was with Esperanza a long time ago, something was going on in the clinic. I said something to her, I said “well I am glad that I was in the first line.” She said, “What do you mean Starr?” I said, “I am the first line to be born, to be a healer.” She looked at me, and she laughed. She said, “Starr, the first line of people waiting to be born are handicapped people, because they teach compassion, they teach love, and they teach patience.” I said, “Oh, then I’m glad I am in the second line!” She looked me up and down and said “Starr, the next line of people waiting in line are the people who are assholes. And they teach us how not to be. You healers and light-workers are in line number 3.” I had this picture in my head that all the light workers were standing there waiting to be born, making all their choices. No, it was this type of soul that came in for a whole life to teach us. When thinking of the disabled, we need to look at what they can do. Maybe he helps on the city council; he has been in the zoning work. He has helped with Park Ave. Look at what he has done. I think “I can’t do that,” and I’m full bodied. Boy, that is a big teaching.

Have you ever met someone who hurt you? Have you ever met somebody who behaved inappropriately? I am glad I am not like that what a great teacher of how not to be. I am not so sure how that helped in my emotional healing. But I know it does affect me. So over the years, you develop those hundred and twenty-six emotions. Not the big ones because you didn’t deal with your sadness, because you didn’t deal with your joy, your anger, you didn’t deal with your fear. All over your body, inside of your body in your organs, which each organ has different emotions associated with it. You have anger that is split up fourteen different ways. You have judgment which builds from three different emotions.

But as Master Healers, we know a couple of things. We know that we can heal backward. If we heal the judgement, then we will also heal the anger that started it. If we heal the frustration, where did it originate from? Whatever was the direct emotion, the direct cause? We heal it. You know, sometimes I see anger like someone picking a shotgun of light and shooting me with little pellets. Here is fear, and here is caution. There is judgment, a little bit of resentment, and there is sarcasm. Here is not looking people in the eyes. Here is not smiling as we work ourselves through whatever emotion that comes up. Every day, we be there fully with it. Express it, whatever it is, in an appropriate way. We can heal our emotional body. We can heal our lives.

Emotions are communicated by your body language and by your communication. That can be how you communicate or how you don’t communicate. It can be what you say, how you say it, a tone of voice, rolling your eyes, your whole body is an emotion expressing machine. Sometimes I find students in my class who sit, and I can’t feel one emotion coming out of them. I wonder, are they hearing? They will ask me a good question, and I know then that they are listening. There are so many emotions they aren’t expressing. They are frozen. Express your emotions appropriately, heal your emotions backward, and communicate your emotions to others.